A Pinoy Expatriate’s Insane Musings

And I Thought WE Were Politically Immature…

Posted by Marvin on February 25, 2008

Voting with the heart and not with the mind…Focusing on general statements as opposed to detailed plans…Attending rallies studded with celebrities in lieu of townhall sessions where people can ask questions…Using “sound bites” instead of policy statements…

NO, we are not in the Philippines… I am referring to the current Democractic presidential contest here in the U.S. between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.

The American voter has not been this engaged since the time of Ronald Reagan and Bill Clinton. This only proves that Democrats (and Republicans) want to get it right this time and not elect another bumbling and incompetent President like Bush II. What a damn fiasco he turned out to be…

But what is striking about this year’s primaries/caucuses is the apparent retrograde pattern of voter behavior. Very similar indeed to the immature politics back home. Consider the following:

Vague Generalities: There has been a marked increase in the number of vague generalizations from this year’s candidates. The King of Generalities is no other than Barack Obama. He has mouthed off a lot of statements with no specific actions mentioned. Consider his “change the establishment” motto. What the hell does that mean? Change what? Where? When? And most importantly: How? He promotes himself as non-establishment relative to Clinton. That may be true but his entire campaign staff are not political neophytes either. How can he ever hope to get his legislative agenda passed with an “establishment” Congress in place? Classic propaganda…

Celebrities Galore: Eat your heart out Judy Ann Santos, Manny Pacquiao Here in the U.S., they use powerhouse celebrities and Americans are also gullible enough to be taken in by it. Consider Oprah Winfrey pushing for Obama, Barbra Streisand for Hillary etc. Even Mike Huckabee has Chuck Norris campaigning for him (Chuck Norris? What the @#$%!).

Cult Movements: Back home, we have the cults of Manalo (Iglesia Ni Cristo) and Velarde (El Shaddai) controlling voters. For this election, the Americans are being exposed to the cult of the individual. The Cult of Obama is the main one here. People are going goo-goo over gaga over him. And when you ask them why, the most common answer is “He inspires me…” Again, what the @#$%! Rationality seems to have been thrown out the window here…

Slogans: We Filipinos had the classic “Erap Para Sa Mahirap! Estrada Para Sa Masa!” slogan during the 1998 elections. Here they have the “Yes We Can!” spiel of Obama. Yes We Can…Succeed? Yes We Can…Change? Yes We Can…Be Fooled?

It nice to know that the dregs of the human gene pool is not concentrated in the Philippines. The U.S. has its fair share too…

Inspite of what people tell you…Life IS fair…


2 Responses to “And I Thought WE Were Politically Immature…”

  1. David said


    From the Greedy Group to the Gucci Gang. From Jamby to Janina. From Ramielle
    Malubay to Rovilson & Marc. Conventional Wisdom is at it again. To rant. To

    The Season of Lent is a good time to reflect on the good, the bad, and the ugly
    events we have been experiencing for the past months. Conventional Wisdom (CW),
    a firm believer in the saying what will not kill you will only make you
    stronger, is back and fortunately, has not succumbed to aneurysm caused by the
    scandals heaped upon by the likes of Gretchen, Kris, Ruffa last year.

    Unfortunately, only to be replaced by even bigger scandals these past months.
    Read on, and find out the latest score card.

    The Gucci Gang vs. Conned-Aussie-Gay-Guy-With-HIV (CAGGWHIV): Losers.
    Probably the biggest and hottest scandal du-jour after the ZTE. Gloria Arroyo
    should be sending thank-you notes or better yet, cash (via Western Union) to
    Brian (the CAGGWHIV) for taking the heat out of the Senate ZTE investigation.
    Giving us, the masses, what can only be described as a nuclear meltdown to gawk

    Spanning two continents, the Brian’s blog features a cast of thousand beautiful
    people (ok, not all beautiful. As the acronym T.I.M. Y.A.P. rightfully spells
    : ‘Tang Inang Mukha Yan, Ang Pangit”) involve in drugs, sex in all its
    permutations, and con artists posing as society boys and girls. The blog
    tackled a whole range of delicious topics ranging from suspense (a murder cover
    up inside an exclusive condo), action (police raid of someone’s room in the
    middle of the night in picturesque Boracay) comedy (the clam chowders, or
    married rich men who actually like other men, but pamper their trophy wives to
    death), horror and science fiction (all the fat, ugly, and balding high society
    people who think they are svelte, gorgeous and, with full hair), sex (someone
    asking for head inside a running elevator), and documentary (a dissection of
    someone’s personal hygiene). This is Discovery Channel at its Best.

    Brian’s blog makes Gossip Girl, Devil Wears Prada, and The Nanny Diaries look
    like The Sound of Music. Next to Celine Lopez, Kris Aquino is a nun. The blog
    is vile, dirty, bitchy, and oozing with venom. CW likes it.

    We may not wear Gucci. We may not be able to set foot in your clubs. We go to
    StarMall instead of Greenbelt 5. We ride on that can of sardines masquerading
    as MRT, and we get our lunch from the Jolli-jeep. But we do honest work for an
    honest pay. And we live real, meaningful lives. Thank you very much.

    The Greedy Group vs. Whistle-Blower-Probinsyanong-Instik-Who-Suddenly-
    Found-Instant-Fame (WBPIWSFIF): Losers. While the Gucci Gang Scandal has a
    cast of a thousand beautiful people, the Greedy Group Scandal features a cast of
    a thousand ugly people. The investigation tackled a whole range of yummy topics
    ranging from melo-drama (must the star witness always cry and look perplexed and
    constipated?), sex (a witness who can not testify for fear of being outed by at
    least two senators who themselves should be outed), comedy (hambur-jer, bukol,
    tong-pats. A surprise witness who caused the senators to be surprised), action
    (a man kidnaped at the airport, brought to Laguna, and before one can say Sister
    Act III, was rescued by nuns), and a whole lot of mystery (money by the billion
    dollars, and who the hell is F.G.?).

    Jun Lozada (J.Lo) and Joey De Venecia . Winner – Loser. Winner for preventing
    that dirty ZTE deal to push through and, exposing the shenanigans of the very
    dirty Abalos. Losers because as the feisty Miriam would say “this is just a
    fight for kickbacks”. Pare-pareho lang kayo.

    If anything, Joey is a winner for being instrumental in the removal of Yoda
    (his over staying father) as speaker of the house, and as the head of his
    political party. To this, thank you Joey. On a lighter side, CW’s officemate
    is wondering if the real father of Joey de Venecia is Mayor Sanchez of Caluan,
    Laguna. Not because they both committed heinous crimes, but they both sport
    heinous hair-dos.

    As for J.Lo. CW thinks he is telling the truth. Well, most of of the time
    anyway. But please, Clarissa Ocampo he is not. CW finds J.Lo too glib, too
    showbiz, and too politician for comfort. The act is fast becoming stale, J.Lo.
    As the Melanie Marquez would say : You can cry once, you can cry twice, you
    can even cry thrice…but you can never cry four. CW does not want to think the
    fate awaiting this man once his usefulness has dried-up.

    Benjamin Abalos. Loser. CW can not think of an adjective to describe this
    creature. Except, Ang Tigas ng Mukha Mo! You are about to kick the bucket Mr.
    Abalos, so think of the legacy you are leaving behind your grandchildren. All
    carrying the Abalos name. Please, have some decency.

    PGMA. Winner. Evil. Bitch. Ingrate. Medusa. Galema. And these are just some
    of the flattering adjectives heaped on this Teflon president. Stick and stones
    may hurt her bones, but last time we checked (March 16, 2008 4:30 pm), she is
    still the President of the country. Happily hopscotching on the grounds of
    Malacanang via her Unity Walks with the governors, mayors, students,
    barangay-tanods, security guards, nightclub bouncers, and the transvestites of
    Makati Avenue. To this, Gloria can only say : “Isaksak mo sa baga mo Joe De
    V., at mamatay ka sa inggit Erap.”

    Print Ads Supporting PGMA. Losers. Funny that those expensive full-page ads
    supporting GMA mushroomed only AFTER the crucial inter-faith rally. These
    seguristas waited to see the full effect (which is nil, by the way) of the much
    ballyhooed rally before showing their support. And the ads are getting weirder
    and weirder by the day. From an obscure mayor of a forgotten town in Abra to
    the tricycle driver’s association of Malolos, Bulacan. Please! Trees gave up
    their lives to have those precious papers printed.

    The Inquirer. Loser. A Tabloid pretending to be a Broadsheet. No offense
    meant to tabloids. At least, tabloids are cheaper, and they have the highly
    educational Dear Xerex. While the Inquirer has sensationalism, bias-ness,
    yellow journalism, and Dolly Ann Carvajal. Enough said.

    The Philippine Star. Loser. For having all those pseudo-writers cum alledged
    druggies cum alledged con-artists in its payroll. Especially those “lifestyle,
    entertainment, and fashion writers (read: The Gucci Gang )” whose only
    qualification is their connection to the owners / publishers.

    The Manila Bulletin. Winner – Loser. Conventional Wisdom calls this the
    autistic newspaper. May sariling mundo. While most local newspapers would
    have the same headline (ex. ZTE scandal or Inter-faith rally), the Manila
    Bulletin’s headline is about the arrival of some African head of state. They
    say Ignorance is Bliss, but this is overdoing it. CW wouldn’t be surprised if
    there would be a tsunami today at the Manila Bay, and Bulletin’s headline
    tomorrow would be about the 100th anniversary celebration of GSIS.

    Jamby Madrigal. Loser. Is there a cure for verbal diarrhea? This woman has the
    rare ability to consistently embarrass not only herself but the institution she
    represents. The senate seat that rightfully belongs to Judy Ann Santos is now
    being occupied by this Miriam-wannabe. And what a mess she is doing. While Sen.
    Santiago is as volatile, at least Miriam has the brains, the articulateness, and
    the legs for the people to forgive, smile, and look the other way.

    But there is hope for Jamby. Once in a rare while, she too can mouth relevant
    statements. To Sen. Pia Cayetano, she admonished: ” instead of doing
    marathon, cycling, triathlon, synchronized swimming, sepak-takraw,and
    tumbang-preso….. e mag-trabaho ka sa senado.” Or something to that effect.

    Stock Market. Loser. From a high of 3,800 points last year to 2,800 points
    last week. CW has been losing sleep over the fate of the meager investments it
    made culled from CW’s pathetic Christmas Bonus last year, puny Annual Merit
    Increase last January and Vacation Leave commutation in February.

    Please, dear patron saint of stock markets, make the Philippine stock
    performance bullish again. That investment is meant for an out of the country
    vacation this September. At the rate the stock market is going, CW’s dream
    vacation will not happen in Bhutan, but in Hinulugang Tak-tak, Antipolo.

    Manny Pacquiao. Winner. Whatever his detractors say, whatever clouds of doubt
    hovering about his latest win, the fact remains that this pugilist has brought
    so much honor and cheer for the country. Filipinos desperately need something to
    be happy and rally about even for one day. For whatever shortcomings he may
    have as a person, Manny is indeed a modern day hero. As the Melanie Marquez
    would say to her detractors, “bago kayo mamintas, mag bigay muna kayo karangalan
    sa bansa.”

    Janina San Miguel. Winner. Yes. Conventional Wisdom thinks this woman is a
    winner. She has the support of her Pamily. And she did land in the Taf ten.
    Ever! She didn’t lose her cool. She has the humility to apologise. She won
    Best in Gown and Swimsuit. And went on to win the Bb. Pilipinas-World crown.
    Yes, CW was cringing and writhing in pain during her Q&A. It was as
    excruciating as having a root canal without anasthesia. But come on guys, we
    have fielded supposedly intelligent, law-taking, cum-laude, model-model,
    piano-playing types in international pageants and they all landed as “thank you
    girls” nevertheless.

    CW has a strong feeling that Janina will pull a surprise and redeem herself.
    Ever! I thank you.

    Gretchen Barreto. Loser. Like the ghosts in the movie Poltergeist, She’s
    baacccckkk! CW is seriously considering to install this …this…. woman in it’s
    Hall of Fame for causing nationwide nausea with her antics. The national
    mistress is desperately crying out for help. Someone call Dra. Holmes. Call
    Dra. Vicky. Call Dr. Quack-quack. To be quoted as saying “Even I AM fascinated
    by Gretchen Barreto” is the height of delusion of grandeur. Someone call
    Security too.

    CW suggests that for her next album, Gretchen should include two Tagalog songs
    to reflect the current state of her mind: “Sino ang Tunay na Baliw?” back to
    back with “Ikaw”.

    Nadia Montenegro. Loser. For calling Gretchen “baboy”. Huuwaaattt? It is like
    the kettle calling the pot black. Or in Nadia’s case, “kettle” can be replaced
    with “cattle”.

    The Gutierez women. Losers. From Ruffa’s ka-cheapan to make a mountain out of
    a molehill “snob” by Lani Mercado (she left my pretty pouty lips on air), to her
    smug unsolicited advice to Bb. Pilipinas World’s Taf Ten, Janina San Miguel.
    Ruffa honey, you had your time as a beauty queen many, many, many years ago.
    And you did not exactly win the Ms. World title, did you? And oh, your pretty
    pouty lips? One word : Collagen. So shut up.

    Of course, like daughter-like mother. The recent challenge of Anabelle to Lolit
    na “mag-suntukan na lang tayo”is another classic fish-wife statement from
    Anabelle. If this suntukan pushes through, this will be a boxing match to end
    all boxing matches. Rama vs. Solis : The Unfinished (show) Business. (voice
    over: Susunod!! Ekslusibbbooo!)

    Ladies and Gentlemen, we give you the Gutierez women – beautiful, outspoken,
    and cheap. From Anabelle, to Ruffa, to Raymund.

    Angel Locsin and her manager. Losers. She once lorded it over at GMA-7 as the
    station’s crown jewel. Was offered the role of Marimar, rejected it for a
    higher offer by ABS-CBN. Wrong career move dear. ABS-CBN has already many
    talents to compete against. It’s a virtual chopseuy of reigning and soon-to-be
    queens ranging from Anne Curtis to Bea Alonzo. From Kris Aquino to Claudine
    Barreto. From Toni Gonzaga to KC Concepcion. And of course, from Piolo Pascual
    to Sam Milby.

    Ruffa Mae Quinto vs. Jessa Zaragosa. Losers. These two starlets should be
    completely ignored. Geesh… fighting over Ding-Dong??! And it is not even

    Ramielle Malubay. Winner. Conventional Wisdom may be bias here but Ramielle
    should already be declared a winner. She may not be the best singer in the lot,
    and most likely will not win the AI title. But top ten is good enough.
    Ramielle is a winner for being proud of her heritage. She made it clear on day
    1 that she IS Filipino. Unlike that Hawaiian girl who only re-packaged herself
    as Filipino when she attempted to launch a career in The Philippines. She

    Arnel Pineda. Charice Pempengco. Happy Slip. Cebu Dancing Inmates. And yes,
    even Renaldo Lapuz. Winners. Modern day techonology is indeed a great
    leveller. Take any ordinary video cam. Combine with Youtube. Add pure
    Filipino talent. Sprinkle with determination and luck. Boil, simmer and serve.
    Voila, international careers. These Filipinos are showing the world why this
    country is the music capital of Asia. It’s in our blood, it’s in our psyche.
    We can not live without music.

    Hard core prisoners : they dance. A senator’s reaction when an envelope is not
    opened : She danced. Walking down the aisle (see Jessica Rodriguez): She
    sung. People Power : we sing and dance. The international press got it wrong.
    Those were not bloodless revolutions – those were Grand Fiestas.

    Marc and Rovilson. Winners. You did us proud. Funny, fair, competent and
    clean players. Not to mention, attractive. You represented the country very
    well in that Race. CW pretended to clear its throat so as not to choke when
    Marc and Rovilson proudly carried the Philippine flag to the finish line despite
    the third placement. Amazing grace, indeed.

    Manila Concert Scene. Winner-Loser. From Beyonce to Maroon 5. From Harry
    Connick to Ne-Yo and Mandy Moore. Real world–class concerts that show the world
    how safe and rockin Manila is. How competent our organizers are, and how
    cosmopolitan the Manila audience can be. But please…enough with the likes of
    Matt Monroe Jr… Cascades Jr….ABBA Jr…Lettermen Jr. Come on! Conventional
    Wisdom would rather watch the Golden Divas in Concert (Carmen Soriano, Carmen
    Patena, and Pilita Corales) than see those American geriatrics.

    Sam-iolo vs. Lolit. Losers. Old issue but relevant still. Lolit for
    embroiling herself into yet another controversy. Unbelievable that she is still
    at this game despite her age. Lolit, you are dangerously taunting the gods once
    again. Give it a rest granny. Go buy yourself a rocking chair and do
    cross-stich instead.

    Sam and Piolo are losers for actually going to court to deny they are gays.
    WTF?! Who do they think they are? Tom Cruise? Who ever advised these boys to
    go to court should be penalized by staring at the face of Boy Abunda for life.
    The official alibi of Sam is that he can not be at the Sofitel canoodling with
    Piolo because he was at some Robinson’s Galleria beauty salon having his hair
    colored. Go figure.

    David and Jessica Buenavacz. Losers. This social climbing couple had it
    coming. To be exposed as using other people’s money to buy luxury goods (ex.
    BMW for her when she lost in a singing contest) is the height of bad taste at
    ka-cheapan. Last time we heard, this power couple ran in haste to escape the
    wrath of the business partners they conned. And in law, flight is indication of

    CW has an axe to grind against Jessica and David. CW is still undergoing
    counselling after that traumatic experience watching Jessica sing in her
    wedding dress while walking down the aisle (escorted by Mark Jimenez) to be
    given away to that Neanderthal man. Surreal scene. It was like witnessing a
    road accident. You know you shouldn’t stare, but you just can’t help it.

    Filipino indie Movies. Winners. Shoestring budget plus a good story line plus
    nameless talented actors equals international recognition. This only proves that
    you don’t have to be a big movie company to gain recognition in the
    international arena. Conventional Wisdom’s only complain is that 99% of
    Filipino indie movies can be reduced to three themes: Poverty, Prostitution,
    and Homosexuality. While CW recognizes that these are realities in our society,
    please try other themes beyond the formula.

    CW doesn’t want to vacation in France and be asked by an ignorant local if CW is
    a poor gay prostitute. This would be a problem because the only French word CW
    knows is “oui!”.

    There is a theory that all scandals last 15 days maximum. CW takes refuge in
    that study. If this is true, then at least we know that we have to brace
    ourselves for 18 more scandals for the rest of the year. We can then stock-up
    on Dolfenal, Alaxan, Biogesic, Bonamin, and Diatabs.

    As we enter what is touted by PAGASA to be the hottest summer in decades, expect
    migraines, rising blood pressure, dehydration to happen. As we only have our
    resilience and humor to count on, we can only mutter this silent prayer: Good
    Heaven, please spare us from the relentless onslaught of the monsters haunting
    us in politics, showbiz, high-society, newspapers, the internet, and beauty
    pageants. Let us go on with our our quiet lives. In the name of everything
    good and decent, make all the losers mentioned above change or disappear
    forever. Ok, maybe except for Annabelle Rama and the juicy Gucci Gang exposes.

    Please forward this email until it reaches DJ Montano, Mayor Sanchez, Jessica
    Rodriguez, PSE, and yes, Matt Monroe Jr.

  2. Well,that is how politics go. Denying it and Running away from it would make no difference at all~maybe that is why i hate it, but on the otherhand, it’s something that human-egos can’t escape from, it’s the reality that for decades and years we have been living with for and it’s even insane enough if we still try to fool ourselves with the idealistic point of views we have, my point is that whatever the means we people trying to point out, their would always be consequences and outcomes that will come out of it and whatever it is, it depends on our very own actions.

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