A Pinoy Expatriate’s Insane Musings

Archive for the ‘Peeve’ Category

Right Back At You…

Posted by Marvin on February 27, 2008


According to Joseph Estrada, the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines (CBCP) stand on the National Broadband Network-ZTE controversy is “like asking a thief to catch a thief”. Based on the Inquirer report, Estrada also indicated that the resignation of the President was not the call of the bishops but of the people and said he would support people power if Arroyo would block moves to impeach her.

RIGHT BACK AT YOU: I must admit it. Estrada has some nerve to mouth off statements like these. Calling Arroyo a thief sounds soooooooo hollow coming from a CONVICTED plunderer like Erap. Ang kapal ng mukha!!!! That line on resignation not being the call of the bishops but of the people indicates a selective case of consciously omitting out historical facts. It should be noted that during EDSA II, BOTH the bishops and the people wanted HIM out. And what does he call the efforts of his minions in the Senate (like suppressing the admission of the second envelope into evidence)? Isn’t that a case of “blocking moves to impeach” him? Reminds me of that old religious song: “Bago mo linisin ang dungis ng iyong kapwa, hugasan ang iyong putik sa mukha…”


Senator Maria Ana Consuelo Madrigal recently implied that First Gentleman Jose Miguel Arroyo and the Chinese embassy were in cahoots on the NBN-ZTE controversy because of a purported copy of a NEDA memo with a marginal note of “FG”.

RIGHT BACK AT YOU: Trade Secretary Favila refuted this by saying that the original marginal note indicated “FGI” referring to Florante G. Igtiben with the “I” conveniently erased. Igtiben handles Chinese-funded projects at the NEDA. Senator “Half Moon” Madrigal is what I would call a “hair-trigger” show-off. Trying to impress people with the proverbial smoking gun, she doesn’t bother to check her sources (or should it be accomplices). Regardless of whether or not Malacanang’s spin on the matter holds water, can one of the retired senators tutor this halfling on proper legislative and diplomatic decorum. She basically implied that the Chinese ambassador, the Chinese Embassy and by the mathematical principle of transitivity – the Chinese Government of corruption. The Chinese do have its fair share of corrupt officials but a legislator should not issue such pronouncements lightly. Pakilagyan nga ng busal ito at baka mapasubo tayo sa giyera ng di oras… Her excuse? She was just doing her duty as Senator. Ek…Ek… Your duty Senator is to enact laws of national importance – not to play the role of a private eye…Ano na ba ang mga batas na naipasa mo aber? Refer to her senatorial record here.


Who else will shoot themselves in the foot with their own gun? Abangan…


Posted in Introspection, Peeve | Leave a Comment »

And I Thought WE Were Politically Immature…

Posted by Marvin on February 25, 2008

Voting with the heart and not with the mind…Focusing on general statements as opposed to detailed plans…Attending rallies studded with celebrities in lieu of townhall sessions where people can ask questions…Using “sound bites” instead of policy statements…

NO, we are not in the Philippines… I am referring to the current Democractic presidential contest here in the U.S. between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.

The American voter has not been this engaged since the time of Ronald Reagan and Bill Clinton. This only proves that Democrats (and Republicans) want to get it right this time and not elect another bumbling and incompetent President like Bush II. What a damn fiasco he turned out to be…

But what is striking about this year’s primaries/caucuses is the apparent retrograde pattern of voter behavior. Very similar indeed to the immature politics back home. Consider the following:

Vague Generalities: There has been a marked increase in the number of vague generalizations from this year’s candidates. The King of Generalities is no other than Barack Obama. He has mouthed off a lot of statements with no specific actions mentioned. Consider his “change the establishment” motto. What the hell does that mean? Change what? Where? When? And most importantly: How? He promotes himself as non-establishment relative to Clinton. That may be true but his entire campaign staff are not political neophytes either. How can he ever hope to get his legislative agenda passed with an “establishment” Congress in place? Classic propaganda…

Celebrities Galore: Eat your heart out Judy Ann Santos, Manny Pacquiao Here in the U.S., they use powerhouse celebrities and Americans are also gullible enough to be taken in by it. Consider Oprah Winfrey pushing for Obama, Barbra Streisand for Hillary etc. Even Mike Huckabee has Chuck Norris campaigning for him (Chuck Norris? What the @#$%!).

Cult Movements: Back home, we have the cults of Manalo (Iglesia Ni Cristo) and Velarde (El Shaddai) controlling voters. For this election, the Americans are being exposed to the cult of the individual. The Cult of Obama is the main one here. People are going goo-goo over gaga over him. And when you ask them why, the most common answer is “He inspires me…” Again, what the @#$%! Rationality seems to have been thrown out the window here…

Slogans: We Filipinos had the classic “Erap Para Sa Mahirap! Estrada Para Sa Masa!” slogan during the 1998 elections. Here they have the “Yes We Can!” spiel of Obama. Yes We Can…Succeed? Yes We Can…Change? Yes We Can…Be Fooled?

It nice to know that the dregs of the human gene pool is not concentrated in the Philippines. The U.S. has its fair share too…

Inspite of what people tell you…Life IS fair…

Posted in Introspection, Peeve | 2 Comments »

Dramatis Personae

Posted by Marvin on February 25, 2008

Dramatis personae def. Latin phrase (“the masks of the drama”) used to refer to the characters in a dramatic work or play.

Plays sink or swim depending on the cast of characters. The more the audience links up emotionally with the characters (loving or hating them), the better the chances of the play doing well at the box office. Given the sad Philippine Telenovela currently unfolding, it might be worthwhile to look at the list:


Character: The Sore Loser
Played By: Joey de Venecia

Background: Long-suffering son living under the shadow of his more illustrious father. Aspired to beat Daddy in his own game by trying to snag a giant government contract even if he is not fully equipped to do battle with the big boys. Loses. Cries “Foul!” and runs back to Daddy for help.

Motto: “There is no honor among thieves.”


Character: The Singer
Played By: Jun Lozada

Background: A nobody who is suddenly thrust into the spotlight by The Sore Loser’s tantrums. Admitted to having his own share of bad deeds. Caught between a rock and a hard place, he starts to sing like the proverbial stool pigeon. The audience applauded. Seeing that he is appreciated by the audience and wanting to provide some entertainment, he sings some more – adding a few choice jokes and wisecracks on the side. The people ate it up. More applause. More songs. Couldn’t turn professional though because he couldn’t produce the lyrics to his songs i.e. no physical proof that the songs are his or that the songs exist for that matter.

Motto: “If you can’t stand the heat, put someone else in the kitchen.”


Character: The Silent One
Played By: Romulo Neri

Background: A technocrat who made the mistake of operning his mouth and Pandora’s Box at the same time. Trapped between the Pillars of Hercules, he opted to stay silent hoping that the maelstrom will pass him by.

Motto: “Less talk, less mistake. No talk, no mistake.”


Character: The Broker
Played By: Benjamin Abalos

Background: Adept at bringing strange bedfellows together. Previously been involved in other compromising situations. The guy everyone loves to hate. Perennially sourrounded by lawyers so that libel/slander cases could be filed immediately.

Motto: “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can’t hurt me – I’ll just sue your sorry ass.”


Character: The Inquisitor
Played By: Alan Cayetano

Background: The modern-day incarnation of the consumate medieval bastard Tomas de Torquemada. Extremely paranoid and sees Malacanang’s hand in everything. Exhibits a Messiah-complex which keeps him tied up in investigations and hearings. Too busy doing police work – no time for legislative work (ZERO bills/resolutions filed since being elected senator).

Motto: “Eat your heart out Chiz Escudero. I’m winning in the ratings game.”


Character: The Puppet Master
Played By: Jose de Venecia

Background: The traditional politician and political survivor. Recently lost his crown but currently rebuilding his empire from the ground up. Self-styled kingmaker. Performs most of his magic tricks behind closed doors.

Motto: “I, me and myself.”


Character: The Bogeyman
Played By: Jose Miguel Arroyo

Background: The guy everyone fears. According to The Inquisitor, the cause of every known problem that the country faces including adult-onset acne, the Regine Velasquez ABS-CBN/GMA brouhaha and obesity.

Motto: “If you think I’m tough, wait till you face my wife.”

Posted in Introspection, Peeve | 1 Comment »

The Philippine Telenovela

Posted by Marvin on February 25, 2008

I’ve been away from it all for the past two months.

Why? Because I’m sick and tired of reading crappy news from the Philippines. Sick and tired of self-serving statements and wolves in sheep’s clothing…There are just so many sanctimonious bastards out there and I will not let them ruin the holidays.

Every day, I thank the Lord God that I am here and NOT there (a very selfish thing to say but this is exactly how I feel and most Filipinos here in the US probably feel the same way)…

On a more personal note, I’ve just been appointed to a different role in the company I work for. This means that my L-1 visa will continue to be in effect…Yipee!!! “Four more years! Four more years!”

Four more years of watching the Philippine National Telenovela from 8,000 miles away…

Posted in Introspection, Peeve | 1 Comment »

If Only We Are NOT Who We Are…

Posted by Marvin on November 30, 2007

I am on business travel to Cape Town, South Africa as I started writing this post. As always, the beauty of Table Mountain and the sourrounding areas is beyond words to decribe.

As I led meetings here, I made every effort to promote the fact that I am a Filipino and that the Philippines is as beautiful as any other country on earth – and possibly even more. I keep on mentioning that Filipinos are a noble people and that we can take our place in the sun together with any other citizen of the world…

…and then the shit hits the fan back at home…

To my horror, CNN showed Trillanes’ latest megalomaniacal caper while we were on our meeting break. Footage of him mouthing off incoherent rhetoric in halting, broken English and of an armoured personnel carrier ramming the Manila Peninsula’s main entrance almost made me cower in shame. My colleagues from Australia, the U.S., the United Kingdom and South Africa started asking questions:

  • “Why is the Philippines so unstable?”
  • “Why is the media covering the rebels? Shouldn’t the government impose a news blackout in cases like these?”
  • “Why is the government allowing the siege to continue for hours? Why not storm the hotel and arrest the rebels?”
  • “Why are people milling around watching the events as they unfolded? Shouldn’t the entire area be cordoned off completely?”
  • “Why can’t you get your act together?”
  • “Why do you have short-term memory loss? Why are you so easy to forgive and forget?”

I had to hide my face in shame…I was so mad with the events back home that I couldn’t even think of defending my people and my country. Come to think of it, what we have is  an indefensible and untenable position.


…a person guilty of a such a blatant crime as trying to overthrow the government (what other evidence is required except for the media footages of the Oakwood mutiny) was not elected into the Senate. Have we forgotten the bombs planted in and around the Oakwood building by Trillanes, Faeldon and their good-for-nothing ilk?


…individuals guilty of rebellion or sedition were thankful that they were even given the right to a trial. If these idiots tried their stunt in some other country, they would have been immediately hanged or shot to death by musketry. Ang lakas pa ng loob na sabihin na ginawa nila ang lahat sa loob ng sistema pero hindi sila pinakinggan! Eh sino ba ang nag-delay ng proceedings ng trial nila? Di ba sila? 


…Filipinos were smart and mature enough to discern the real heroes from those suffering from megalomania and severe messiah-complexes. I had to humbly admit this sad fact to my foreign colleagues: “Tanga tayong mga Pilipino!”


…Senators of the Republic do their job i.e. legislate laws for the betterment of the country – and follow the rule of law and the Constitution – the same Constitution they swore to honor and defend when they took office. Imagine this: A person elected as senator a.k.a. the despicable Trillanes – “escaping” from the court’s custody, making a mockery of the judicial process, illegally breaking and entering into a private establishment, inciting people to sedition by asking people to overthrow the government and ignoring the Constitution’s rules on succession by asking the Supreme Court Chief Justice to take over the reins – acting like the self-styled hero of the Republic.


…someone who risks everything and mouths off fighting words (and a soldier at that) against the government be man enough to face the music and the bullets and not cower behind media people and use them as an excuse for surrendering. Poporma-porma pero susuko din naman pala dahil walang ibubuga!


…all of the hotel guests whose privacy was violated and lives put in danger will come back to the Philippines again and try to forget this experience. The same goes for all investors, businessmen and employees. I pity the honest employees and workers e.g. bell hops, waiters etc. as they will be adversely affected if the customers and guests will not return or will lose confidence in the country.


…the media would not give too much air time to people whose main purpose in life is to grab power or cause trouble. This is not limited to Trillanes’ band of brigands. The same applies to the Communists (why would you capture sound bites from Ka Roger or Joma when they are out of touch with reality and whose main activity now is to burn cell phone towers in exchange for extortion money), the so-called progressives in Congress (party-list congressmen who use taxpayers money for their own goals of establishing a socialist state by destroying the government from within i.e. “ginigisa tayo sa sariling mantika”), retired bishops who had nothing better to do except help other groups in realizing their power grab strategies…


…so-called men-of-the-cloth will concentrate on spiritual matters and not join overtly political and illegal acts. Tingnan niyo ang mga lintik na obispo na ito…They should also be charged with sedition. At itong si Father Reyes, nagmimisa pa ba ito sa parokya niya? Eh lagi ko na lang nakikita sa demonstrasyon itong paring ito eh. Ano ang ginagawa ng Vatican tungkol sa mga radikal na paring ito?


…these people spent their time to help out Filipinos devastated by the recent typhoons and earthquake. Such a bunch of hypocritical vipers! 


…we have less freedoms than what we have right now. We as a people have proven that we are NOT mature enough to wield the freedoms we gained from EDSA. As such, we need to impose more discipline and to highlight the fact that the freedoms we enjoy are NOT absolute. The right to free speech is not absolute…The right to assembly is not absolute…That’s why the country is in a gridlock. Everyone has the damned right to challenge and stop anything from happening – and they have the damned right to shout it out to everyone – and the media has the damned right to print each and every word…


…I am a vulgar and crass man then I can shout to the top of my lungs these crisp and succinct words of derision:


Unfortunately, I am not – and so…I won’t.

Posted in Introspection, Peeve | 3 Comments »


Posted by Marvin on October 1, 2007

Art, a friend and colleague, sent me this supplemental info on unsolicited bids for government contracts. If you can recall, I asked a rhetorical question regarding AHI’s unsolicited bid? Take it away Art…

“…Under Sec. 5 of R.A. 7718, “Unsolicited proposals for projects may be accepted by any government agency or local government unit on a negotiated basis: Provided, That, all the following conditions are met: (1) such projects involve a new concept or technology and/or are not part of the list of priority projects, (2) no direct government guarantee, subsidy or equity is required, and (3) the government agency or local government unit has invited by publication, for three (3) consecutive weeks, in a newspaper of general circulation, comparative or competitive proposals and no other proposal is received for a period of sixty (60) working days: Provided, further, That in the event another proponent submits a lower price proposal, the original proponent shall have the right to match that price within thirty (30) working days.”...”

If you want to read Republic Act 7718 or the “Act Amending Certain Sections of Republic Act No. 6957, Entitled “An Act Authorizing The Financing, Construction, Operation and Maintenance of Infrastructure Projects By The Private Sector, And For Other Purposes” (What a mouthful! Some people call this the Build-Operate-Transfer (BOT) Law for conciseness…), go to this link.


Funny how things tend to unravel whenever the Senate holds one of their “investigations in aid of legislation” or as I see it – the Senate’s “license to kill” or “payback time” for the senators. The recent NBN scandal is a classic example.

It started off as a “I-lost-therefore-I-was-cheated” complaint initiated by De Venecia’s son but soon deteriorated into a veritable free-for-all pitting various groups of self-righteous demagogues.

“…A demagogue is one who will preach doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots…” – H.L. Mencken

It is like a veritable “sinner casting the first stone” scenario. For example:

  • Jose de Venecia III: The boy who cried “Wolf!” Whilst spilling the beans on the scandal, he also exposed his culpability and utter lack of delicadeza. Iho, tatay mo ang Speaker of the House…Sana man lamang e iniwasan mong sumali sa mga government contracts lalo na kung medyo dubious ang credentials ng kumpanya mo…How can you now refute charges that you are using your father’s position to influence the outcome of the tender? You should have inhibited yourself and just let AHI’s officers file the complaint…That would have given you the moral high ground.
  • Benjamin Abalos: Tsk..Tsk..From one scandal to another…Now that you have resigned your position, maybe you should take the straight and narrow path. Your record at the COMELEC basically ruined you in the court of public opinion. Nag-init pa ang ulo mo sa sessions…You look too defensive…Kahit pa sabihin na nating wala ka talagang kasalanan (however unlikely)
  • Romulo Neri: Nobody likes a fence-sitter…It’s either you have guts or not. You admitted that Abalos tried to bribe you…Why go to the President? Para kang hindi naisali sa laro at nagsusumbong sa teacher. Why did you not report it to the Ombudsman or to some other authority? By not doing anything, you are tolerating the deed. And now you want to seek the high ground? Tsk…Tsk…You had your chance brother but you blew it…
  • Aquilino Pimentel: Matanda ka na pero tuso pa rin…You can sense it in the sessions, this guy really has an ax to grind with the COMELEC. He probably is still smarting from that “dagdag-bawas” experience when he lost to Enrile. Tsk…Tsk…Whatever brownie points you earned by explaining your vote for opening the second enveloped has since evaporated…Your moral compass is truly broken…
  • Miriam Defensor-Santiago: You are a genius…Smart and articulate in your own mangled version of Ilonggo English…However, you’ve fallen into the trap which is the curse of people with high intelligence quotients – the more intelligent you are, the more snobbish and bigoted you become…Imagine a senator saying that the Chinese invented corruption! Major diplomatic faux pas! Assuming this is true (just for the sake of argument), we are still to blame. The Chinese may have invented corruption Senator Santiago – but we Filipinos perfected it into an artform.

So what is the moral of this NBN story? Simple…There are no clean combatants in a mud wrestling contest.


In a few days, the Philippines will be one nation again…all because of a hurricane of a boxer named Pacquiao. As always, politicians will call a truce and even Rogelio Rosal of Ka Roger fame will tune in. For a couple of hours, the nation will be one.

I used to like it every time Pacquiao has a fight…The moment the bell sounds to indicate the end of the fight  – Pacquiao’s battle is over…A new battle starts though… After the brief moment of unity, the country will go back to its old ways and start bashing the head of the next guy just to be ahead of him in the game of life…

Kung puwede nga lang sanang upakan ni Pacquiao ang mga pasaway nating kababayan…

Posted in Links, Peeve, Rave | 4 Comments »

Philippine Propaganda 101: Masters of Distortion

Posted by Marvin on September 17, 2007


Such a big, high-brow word but one to which we are exposed to everyday via the relentless, omnipresent media. Ideally, the media should be able to distinguish the various forms of propaganda and shield the gullible masses from half-truths and lies from personalities. Unfortunately, “sound bites” sell newspapers…and so things fall through the cracks so to speak…

What is propaganda anyway?

Propaganda is the deliberate, systematic attempt to shape perceptions, manipulate cognitions, and direct behavior to achieve a response that furthers the desired intent of the propagandist.”– Garth S. Jowett and Victoria O’Donnell, Propaganda And Persuasion

This definition is still too complicated for me…Let’s try some recent examples:

“…MANILA, Philippines — Freed communist leader Jose Maria Sison hurled invectives at Malacañang, calling President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo a “demon infant” who “fooled” the Dutch government into believing he was a murderer.In a phone interview, the 68-year-old Sison said his release confirmed that Manila simply filed trumped-up charges against him.“My release only proves that the Dutch government was fooled by National Security Adviser Norberto Gonzales and the demon infant Arroyo,” he said…”
Source: Philippine Daily Inquirer

What does this example say to the readers? Joma is innocent. However, it you dive deep enough and actually look at the actual decision (very few readers have actually seen this) by the Dutch court, it will be evident that:

  • The Court rejects the demand of the Public Prosecutor and recommends termination of the accused’s remand in custody. The Court basically set the accused free but did NOT make any binding ruling on the charges themselves. It just says that based on the preliminary evidence, Sison should not be remanded to the custody of the government. Is Joma correct in saying that the court exonerated him? Not in a long shot…but his statements extoll this perception as fact. Half-truths…Hmmm…Classic example of propaganda…
  • The Court further states that “…There are also indications that the accused is still playing a leading role in the (underground) activities of the CC, the CPP and the NPA….” Joma keeps on denying that he is the one leading the rebels – always insisting that he is just a “consultant”. Wow! He must be the most powerful consultant I’ve ever known. Imagine folks in the hills follow his pronoucements even if he is cavorting free and eating three square meals a day in the relative safety of Utrecht. The Court looked at the preliminary evidence and deemed that this is NOT the case. Hmmm…Again, classic propaganda tactic by Joma…

The bottom line is this: The case against Joma is still alive. The only difference is that he will not be in custody from now until the trial starts. Joma should give the Dutch authorities more credit. They are not that gullible enough to be “fooled” by Malacanang…

Let’s try another example:

“…Sison described his 17-day stay at a prison center in The Hague as “torturous” and reminded him of his days in jail during the martial rule of former president Ferdinand Marcos. “I remember the time I spent in solitary confinement during the time of the late dictator President Ferdinand Marcos. They interrogated me every day and there was an overheated electric bulb overhead,” he said…”
Source: Philippine Daily Inquirer

Joma is really laying it on thick on this one. He is basically comparing the Dutch government with Marcos’. The reality is that the Dutch government is one of the most progressive governments in the European Union and is averse to any maltreatment of prisoners. Pinapalabas ni Joma na sobra siyang nahirapan with flowery figures of speech like the “overheated electric bulb” comparison. Grow up! If the Dutch government is anything like the Marcos regime, you bet your Ho Chi Minh smile that you will not even notice the light bulb as you will be having an intense and “electric conversation” with Sgt. Jun “Jumper” Corriente about your bulbs. OA masyado itong si Joma! Shaping perceptions by false comparisons…Hmmm…Classic propaganda tactic…

From one fool to another fool:

“…MANILA, Philippines — Senator Ana Consuelo “Jamby” Madrigal on Friday urged Communist Party of the Philippines (CPP) founder Jose Ma. Sison to file a case against President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo and National Security Adviser Norberto Gonzales for “malicious prosecution”…”
Source: Philippine Daily Inquirer

Misguided…That’s one polite word to describe Madrigal. Media-hungry and “kulang sa pansin” are other apt decriptions but I won’t go into that. She is asking Joma to sue GMA and Gonzalez for “malicious prosecution”. The truth is that the Dutch case was prompted by the filing of murder charges in the Netherlands by the widows of Romulo Kintanar and Arturo Tabara. These poor widows are the plaintiffs while the prosecutors are the Public Prosecution Service of the Dutch government. The Philippine government provided information but the final decision on prosecuting Sison rests with the Dutch authorities. Talk about barking at the wrong tree.

At the end of the day, Joma’s case is about the senseless killing of two men dialectically opposite him in beliefs who have been freed from captivity and are looking at a different way of pursuing their dreams and aspirations.

This woman tends to overestimate the clout of the Philippine government. Kung Singapore nga na kapitbahay natin – hindi natin nakumbinsi na palayain si Flor Contemplacion, isang bansa pa kaya sa Europa? Misdirection or redirecting blame to others to further one’s plans and ambitions…Hmmm…Ito ang classic propaganda

Here’s another sore loser example…As they say, nobody ever really loses in the Philippines. Laging dinaya‘Ika nga

“…The NBN deal has been in the news over the past two weeks because of allegations of bribery and overpricing. Nueva Vizcaya Rep. Carlos Padilla accused Commission on Elections Chair Benjamin Abalos Sr. of brokering the deal and of receiving sexual favors from ZTE.AHI cofounder Jose “Joey” de Venecia III also said Abalos offered him $10 million in exchange for backing off from the deal…”
Source: Philippine Daily Inquirer

The “Liar, liar…Pants on fire!” routine is quite popular in the Philippines. One of the propaganda pitfalls is the fact that people tend to believe the whistle blower especially in cases of major scandals. In the case of the NBN deal, Joey de Venecia III has put on the mantle of Sir Galahad against the corrupt infidels. But before we extol him and his cause, let’s look at his case first. He is the son of Jose de Venecia, Speaker of the House of Representatives and is the co-founder and major stakeholder of Amsterdam Holding Inc. or AHI. AHI lost the NBN deal to a Chinese company. Questions:

  • Why did AHI submit an unsolicited bid? Why gate crash a party so to speak? Aren’t they part of the government list of qualified suppliers? If they are not in the list, why? Can they even undertake the project of this scale?
  • How did they find out about the NBN bid? If you are not invited, who do you know that will help you with inside info?
  • Section 5 of the Anti-Graft and Corruption Practices Act indicates that “…it shall be unlawful for the spouse or for any relative by consanguinity or affinity, within the third civil degree of the President of the Philippines, Vice-President of the Philippines, Philippine Senate President, Speaker of the House, to intervene directly or indirectly, in any business, transaction, contract, or application with the government…”. Does Joey de Venecia know this? An unsolicitied bid constitutes intervention in my book. Granted that this is an honest bid, de Venecia should have inhibited himself out of delicadeza

Folks who would like to stay clean should be careful about engaigng in a mud-throwing contest while in a muddy field…There is a good chance that you’ll have mud in your face even before you even throw the first shot…Sabi nga ni Joey de Leon: “Explain before you complain!” Hmmm…Propaganda again…

Be discerning…Don’t swallow everything – hook, line and sinker…Things are not as simple as it seems…

Posted in Links, Peeve, Rave | 2 Comments »

Your Taxes At Work: Philippine Senators’ Legislative Performance (Or Non-Performance)

Posted by Marvin on September 14, 2007

After the 2007 senatorial elections, I woke up to the sad fact that we as a people are nitwits when it comes to selecting leaders specific to our republican form of government. Filipinos still fail to grasp the basic fact that the Senate is a national legislative body – it is NOT a body for people who excel in executive action, it is NOT a body for popular personalities, it is NOT a body of people who shout loudly at the top of their lungs in order to get attention. The Senate is the upper chamber of Congress whose main function is to craft laws. Being composed of people with no direct constituents, the expectation is that the Philippine Senate will tackle bills/laws of national scope and importance. This is not the venue for parochial, inter-barangay or ordinance-like bills – leave that to the House of Representatives and to the thousands of municipal councils out there. In other words, you need to be properly equipped to be in the Senate.

The 14th Congress of the Republic of the Philippines opened last June. It’s been about 2 months since then…Ano na ba ang ginagawa ng mga senador ngayon? People mainly see all of their useless investigations (in aid of legislation kuno…more in aid of their popularity). But looking at their core competency (crafting laws), how are they performing?

Remember: Your taxes are paying for the Senate. Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago  mentioned in a radio interview that senators normally get P43,000 per month as their base salary. In addition, they get around P1.3 Million per month for their staff. Yes folks…senators are not solomonic in their wisdom – they need a staff of people to coach them on what to say and when to say it, research bills for them and basically be at their beck and call. Add to this, travel allowances for “official” trips within the country and abroad. And before I forget, senators are also given individual pork barrel funds. I am not privy to the number but let’s just say it’s P200 Million each annually for simplicity’s sake (the actual number might be higher than this). All in all, each senator gets an annual salary of P516,000 PLUS an annual staff allowance of  P15,600,000 PLUS their pork barrel of P200,000,000 PLUS travel and other allowances which I can’t estimate at this point. Bottom-line: P216.116 Million per senator per year or P18.00 Million per senator per month. That’s a lot of money not to mention taxpayer’s blood, toil, tears and sweat!

How then do our esteemed senators use this money for the betterment of the Filipino nation? Tough question? Surprisingly, the answer is available to the public via the website of the Philippine Senate . Let us take a look at their performance (June-July 2007):

SENATOR: Angara, Edgardo
Renewable Energy Reserves Act of 2007 (filed June 30)
Children’s Health Insurance Program (filed June 30)
Magna Carta of Filipino Seafarers (filed June 30)
Compressed Workweek/Flextime Arrangement (filed July 3)
[PinoyXPat: Angara’s experience in legislation is clearly evident here. Most of his bills are national in scope and addresses key areas where legislation is either lacking or inadequate.]

SENATOR: Aquino III, Benigno
Workers’ Productivity Incentives Act of 2007 (filed July 26)
[PinoyXPat: He’s probably in the throes of the neophyte jinx. Or maybe he’s emulating his father, the late Sen. Benigno Aquino, Jr. – who is not known for being prodigous when it comes to legislation. My advice: Don’t even try emulating your father’s senatorial performance. You lack several key things of which he has tons of: wit, charisma and a brilliant mind for starters…]

SENATOR: Arroyo, Joker
[PinoyXPat: Say it ain’t so Jo(ker)…One of my favorite legislators because of his brilliant mind and the power of his arguments. Tumatanda na yata si Joker…I’d hate to give you the “Kalabasa Award” given your brilliant stint as congressman and senator…]

SENATOR: Biazon, Rodolfo
Public School Teachers Tax Incentive Act (filed July 3)
Anti-Torture Act (filed June 30)
AFP Chief of Staff (Fixed Term) (filed June 30)
[PinoyXPat: I must say, Biazon has developed from a bumbling neophyte senator to someone whom I would call “average/above average”….The former goat of the Philippine Military Academy must be saying to himself: “Gedemit kadit! Who’s the goat now?”]

SENATOR: Cayetano, Pia
Mt. Balatukan Range Natural Park Act of 2007 (filed July 4)
Granting The Governor The Power To Solemnize Marriages (filed July 4)
Anti-Drunk Driving Act of 2007 (filed July 3)
[PinoyXPat: Iha…Second-term mo na sa Senado…You should start shaping up! Most of the bills she filed are for the creation of obscure national parks. Remember that the environment is only one of the many focus areas of a senator. What the #$%^? Is giving governors the power to marry people a critical need of the country?]

SENATOR: Cayetano, Alan
[PinoyXPat: Zero…Itlog…Kalabasa…Cayetano is being true to himself and being consistent. He was a do-nothing congressman…He is a do-nothing senator now…Hoy Tisoy! Tigil-tigilan mo ang pagpapogi sa camera at sa pagsali-sali sa mga kung anu-anong imbestigasyon na wala namang katuturan! Sayang ang buwis ng taong-bayan sa yo!]

SENATOR: Defensor-Santiago, Miriam
Battered Women’s Testimony Act of 2007 (filed July 24)
Anti-Discrimination Act (filed July 24)
Government Recycling Act of 2007 (filed July 18)
National Drug & Crime Emergency Act (filed July 5)
Government Data Privacy Protection Act of 2007 (filed July 4)
Anti-Hazing Law (filed July 4)
[PinoyXPat: Quite prolific…Seasoned legislator…]

SENATOR: Estrada, Jinggoy
Breast Care Centers (filed July 3)
Prostate Cancer Public Awareness Act (filed July 3)
Ambulant Vendors Protection Act (filed July 3)
Aviation Noise Limit Act (filed July 3)
Mother’s Day Act (filed July 3)
Electoral Fraud (filed July 2)
[PinoyXpat: Aba…Mukhang nabasa ng isa sa mga staff niya ang blog entry ko tungkol kay Erap/Mini-Me…[link here]…Champion pag dating sa paramihan…But looking at the quality of the bills – very parochial…Pang-munisipyo ika nga…Protecting ambulant vendors – I just hope this is not similar to that STUPID Lina Law protecting squatters! Aviation noise and Mother’s Day – kritikal ba ito sa bansa? Folks, don’t be fooled by the numbers – I looked at his other bills and I think he is listed as co-authors of other bills filed by other senators…Not all his bills are originally his…“It’s not the numbers mate…It’s the content and substance…”]

SENATOR: Enrile, Juan Ponce
Value-Added Tax Exemption on Sale of Services (filed July 25)
Philippine Anti-Trust Act (filed June 30)
[PinoyXPat: The quintessential political gadfly…I may spit on his principles (or lack thereof) but his performance in the senate is quite exemplary…He filed only a few bills but these are quite noteworthy in its scope and impact…] 

SENATOR: Escudero, Francis
Anti-Influence Peddling Act of 2007 (filed July 17)
[PinoyXPat: Neophyte beady-eyed senator…Got his baptism of fire when he was verbally “bitch-slapped” by Miriam during interpellations…Marami pang bigas na kakainin…

SENATOR: Gordon, Richard
Used Motor Vehicles Regulations Act of 2007 (filed July 16)
Volunteer Act of 2007 (filed June 30)
Disaster Preparedness & Mitigation Act of 2007 (filed June 30)
[PinoyXPat: I think some of his bills merit discussion within the Senate. His bill on disaster preparedness is something which should be considered as the Philippines has been declared as the “most disaster-prone country in the world” e.g. volcanic eruptions, earthquakes, typhoons etc. Had the Indian Ocean tsunami hit the Philippines, we might have been blown back to the Stone Age given our level of preparedness…]

SENATOR: Honasan, Gregorio
National Security Act of 2007 (filed June 30)
[PinoyXPat: It is surprising that Honasan would file a bill on national security…The better to undermine the republic should he pull another coup attempt again? Imagine this, a disgraced soldier who led coup attempts to destroy the democratic pillars of the country – now crafting laws for the very republic he once tried to destroy? What can I say? We are nitwits when it comes to selecting leaders.]

SENATOR: Lacson, Panfilo
Philippine Air Force Academy (filed June 30)
National Reference Card System Act of 2007 (filed June 30)
Wiretapping (filed June 30)
[PinoyXPat: May na-file din naman palang bill itong isang ito…Akala ko walang inatupag ito kung hindi mag-imbestiga ng kung anu-anong bagay…He reminds me of the velociraptors in “Jurassic Park”, they keep on attacking the electrified fence but never the same place twice – methodically looking for the weak spots of the government…And to what end and for whose benefit?  This guy scares the hell out of me…]

SENATOR: Lapid, Lito
Caregiver Act of 2007 (filed July 3)
Senior Citizen’s Discount on Petroleum Products (filed July 3)
Medical Tourism Act (filed June 30)
Road Safety for Children’s Act (filed June 30)
[PinoyXPat: He surprised me…I wasn’t expecting much but he actually filed 44 bills…Wow! And some of them are not that bad (for his caliber that is)…]

SENATOR: Legarda, Loren
Journalist Welfare & Reputation Act of 2007 (filed July 26)
Productivity Incentives Act of 2007 (filed July 4)
Botica sa Barangay Act (filed June 30)
Islamic Calendar (filed June 30)
[PinoyXPat: The political butterfly (or was it prostitute as Col. Victor Corpuz once so eloquently retorted)…What’s this about the Islamic Calendar bill? Is she courting the Muslim, pro-FPJ votes?]

SENATOR: Madrigal, Jamby
Balinsasayao Twin Lakes Natural Park (filed June 30)
Downstream Oil Industry Deregulation (Repealing) (filed June 30)
[PinoyXPat: I must say it…This woman was only elected to the Senate because the gullible masses liked Judy Ann Santos – not because Madrigal deserved to be elected…Kaya hindi ko talaga mapapatawad itong si Juday eh…Hindi niya alam kung ano ang resulta ng endorsement niya…Just look at what she’s doing in the Senate. Bills about national parks? Aren’t there more important things? Repealing the Oil Deregulation Law? She probably thinks this will reduce the price of petroleum…Somebody should teach this woman that petroleum is expensive EVERYWHERE…Here in California, people are grumbling about gas…If the most powerful nation on earth couldn’t bring down the price of gas, does she think the Philippine Senate can? A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing…especially if you’re in the Senate…]

SENATOR: Pangilinan, Francis
Overseas Filipinos Investment Act (filed July 18)
University of the Philippines Charter of 2007 (filed June 30)
Alien Social Integration Act of 2007 (filed June 30)
[PinoyXPat: This senator makes sense…His bills are a reflection of this fact…]

SENATOR: Pimentel, Aquilino
Foreign Consultants Identity Disclosure (filed July 4)
Private Hospital Assistance Act of 2007 (filed July 4)
Total Log Ban (filed June 30)
[PinoyXPat: It’s hard for me to make a rational assessment…My respect for this man turned to revulsion the moment that he joined forces with Erap – the very man he tried to impeach…Politics really do make strange bedfellows…]

SENATOR: Revilla Jr., Ramon
Tanodbata Act (filed July 3)
Seniors Safety Act of 2007 (filed July 3)
Anti-Drag Racing Act (filed June 30)
National Film Archive (filed June 30)
[PinoyXPat: Another suprising performance…He has now exceeded his father’s performance in the Senate i.e. Revilla Sr. was the  ertswhile chairman of the  Committee on Silence…]

SENATOR: Roxas, Mar
LPG Industry Act of 2007 (filed July 5)
Lemon Law Act of 2007 (filed June 30)
[PinoyXPat: A lot of consumer-related bills along the lines of his “Mr. Palengke” persona…Preparation for the presidency?]

SENATOR: Trillanes IV, Antonio
P125 Daily Across The Board Wage Increase (filed July 3)
[PinoyXPat: This is insane…First, we elected a coup plotter with a Messiah complex to the Senate. Then he files a bill basically dictating the wage of workers. The Senate is not the body to dictate the wage of workers – it should be left to what the market can bear. Also, prescriptive legislation and market forces don’t mix…He might as well file a bill repealing the Law of Supply & Demand…Will somebody please teach this boy the basics….please…or better yet wake him up from his megalomania…]

SENATOR: Villar, Manuel
Credit Card Fraud Act (filed July 4)
Reduction of Metals In Packaging Act (filed July 4)
Prison Reform (filed June 30)
Books for the Barrios Act (filed June 30)
[PinoyXPat: Another seasoned senator…Or magaling lang ang legislative staff niya?

SENATOR: Zubiri, Juan Miguel
Renewable Energy Act of 2007 (filed June 30)
[PinoyXPat: Since he was the last senator to be declared winner, he probably didn’t have enough time to prepare much…Hanggang ngayon kasi naghahabol pa itong anak ni Pimentel eh…]

There you have it folks…It is essentially a mixed bag. From a purely legislative point of view, some senators did well while others are mediocre with the mental performance of sea slugs (with apologies to the sea slugs). The much-coveted “Kalabasa Award” goes to Alan Peter Cayetano for essentially doing nothing while Antonio Trillanes gets the “Repeal the Law of Supply & Demand Award” for his utter lack of understanding of macroeconomic principles…Jinggoy gets the “Trying-Hard-To-Be-Senator Medal”

Posted in Introspection, Peeve, Rave | 22 Comments »

National Milestone: Convicting A President

Posted by Marvin on September 12, 2007

After a loooooong hiatus due to my disillusionment and disenchantment with the results of the senatorial elections, the ascerbic East Bay Pinoy expatriate is back online! Hold the applause and insults please.

The Philippines found itself back in the international limelight yesterday by doing something that no other government in recent memory has done: convicting a former president for the crime of plunder…again another unique crime under the Philippine criminal and justice system.

This is a breath of fresh air…This is what I would call a “national milestone” for the country. Sad to say, the Philippines have never been known for digging its heels and sticking to its principles. We have countless examples of rescinded business deals and awards, legislation repealed, convictions overturned, proclamations deemed unconstitutional…Let’s face it, we lack political will.

Not anymore…We have convicted Joseph Ejercito, a former President of the Republic, for the crime of plunder and sentenced him to reclusion perpetua.

We have finally learned the lessons of history (we let Marcos, Imelda and their mobster family get away with murder as well as our millions), conquered our bleeding heart culture (“Let’s pardon him…He has suffered enough…Kawawa naman siya…Malabo na ang mata at may problema pa sa tuhod…”), controlled our security paranoia (“Siguradong mag-aalsa ang mga kampon ni Erap kagaya nina Binay, Lacson, Rez Cortez etc. para ibagsak ang gobyerno…”) and basically said that NO ONE IS ABOVE THE LAW

“Fiat justitia ruat caelum…(Let justice be done though the heavens fall…)”


Consistent with the typical Filipino trait of blaming everyone but himself…Erap blamed everyone except himself for his dilemna. Vitriol spewed forth from his mouth against Malacanang, Luis “Chavit” Singson and the elite/educated class.

He is now saying that he gambled on getting justice from the Sandiganbayan as he will never get justice from the impeachment trial. A gamble which he lost. These statements don’t make sense. Consider the following:

  • Erap was NEVER impeached by the Senate. Recycle your neurons now…The trial was progressing with the Senate as the impeachment tribunal. However, Erap’s minions used their numbers in ensuring that the second envelope’s contents will never be known. FLASHBACK: Oreta doing the tribal “Dance of Joy”…Osmena smiling like the cat that ate the pink canary…Legarda crying like a banshee then but supporting Erap like a heart-lung machine now…Pimentel choking up and explaining his vote for opening the envelope then but leading the “Restore the Erap Monarchy Movement” now…So the statement that he will never get justice from the impeachment trial is baloney! He rigged the trial so that he will not be convicted.
  • Erap’s legal team blew it. They were pandering to the media and to the bleeding heart populace when the real battle is inside the court room. The old fogeys think that the media will judge their client…BIG MISTAKE. Flaminiano and Saguisag blew it big time. Singson said it so eloquently: “…They should look at their own lawyers, especially Rene Saguisag. He is just bad luck, he has never won a major case in his life. Our prosecutors did their homework while they resorted to publicity stunts. Saguisag argued his case in media rather than in court, so why should they wonder if the justices voted unanimously?…” Chavit can really say the darnest things and still make perfect sense…
  • Erap was not able to destroy the credibility of the key witnesses. Clarissa Ocampo basically said that Erap was Jose Velarde and Saguisag and his minions could not destroy or shake her testimony. Other witnesses were also pretty solid in their testimonies. Instead of refuting the statements or presenting evidence to the contrary, Erap’s lawayers used the “our-client-is-the-victim-of-a-conspiracy” card time and time again…
  • Erap didn’t quit while he was ahead…Instead of fleeing the coop, he was left holding the bag of rotten eggs. Where are his minions now? Charlie “Atong” Ang fled to the U.S., was captured and turned state’s witness against him. Lucio Co has vanished into thin air. Same goes for Dante Tan (of BW fame) and Jaime Dichaves. Mark “The Business Genius” Jimenez is doing some weird stuff right now and has become quite creepy after his U.S. incarceration.
  • Erap is the prosecution’s best witness….He basically buried himself…He admitted he was Jose Velarde. He said that he was using that name to help a friend (which in itself is a potential crime). He said that some of the money came from jueteng. The litany goes on and on…Talk about shooting yourself in the foot using your mouth! Or maybe he thinks that the Sandiganbayan is a movie set where he could use his screen persona “Diegong Daga” to weasel his way out of a conviction?


As this is a high-profile case, the focus of attention is centered around the disgraced former President. Unbeknownst to most of us, the trial wouldn’t have reached this stage without the dedication and hard work of the prosecution team led by Special Prosecutor Dennis Villa-Ignacio. The team is composed of Deputy Special Prosecutors Robert Kallos, John Torralba, Raymond Julio Olaguer and Humphrey Monteroso. This also includes former Ombudsman Simeon Marcelo who started the whole thing off driving the case against Estrada. These guys have slaved for years preparing and presenting the case while dodging immense political pressures (and getting paid the paltry government rate at that). Some of them even threatened to resign out of principle if the court will succumb to Estrada’s whims.

Gentlemen: The Filipino people owe you a debt of gratitude which could never be repaid. Maraming salamat at mabuhay kayong lahat…

Posted in Introspection, Peeve, Rave | 3 Comments »

Winners-Losers…Whoever Wrote This Should Be Glorified…

Posted by Marvin on June 18, 2007

The Philippine elections have been over and done with for over a month but I have yet to force myself to write a post-mortem. Like an autopsy, my stomach is in a maelstrom everytime I force myself to think about that comical political exercise.  The only good thing is that we have other characters out there who can instantly transform my vomiting and nausea attacks into loose bowel movements (the ubiquitous LBM): Philippine showbiz personalities.

I’ve switched from surfing to surfing the Philippine Entertainment Portal….Not because I like the reports but because the posts and comments there are as funny and demented as my own rantings. Kris, Ruffa, Ylmaz…These are my new favorite whipping boys!  WAPAKKKK!!!!!

Fortunately for me, somebody else felt the exact same way and formalized it in an e-mail which has been floating around the Net recently. I got this from a friend of mine but there is no indication as to who wrote it. If anyone out there knows the person’s name or contact details – please let me know. I need to thank and glorify him for a magnificent piece.

Here is the note (with my comments):

Winners Losers : From Kris to Ruffa to Gretchen (Desperate Housewives Philippine Edition)
Or are we reaping some sort of a negative karma to deserve them?
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _


The month of June is a good time to review what transpired for the first six months of 2007. For this edition, Conventional Wisdom is focusing on showbiz-related matters instead of the usual politics (which in a way is also show-biz but for ugly people). Read on.

KRIS AQUINO. Loser. While she is the innocent one in the whole James-Hope brouhaha, Conventional Wisdom thinks that she could have handled the incident with more dignity and privacy. One wonders why this drama queen wants to inflict her day-to-day saga with the whole planet. From exaggerating her “life-threatening” pregnancy, to lambasting her husband in public (“O magsalita ka? Totoo naming pina-palayas na kita sa bahay a?”), to actually using Ninoy to promote a cake in her latest commercial. Kris’ next endorsement should neither be beer nor pastries but laundry detergent for her unquenchable desire to always wash her very dirty underwear in public.

MY COMMENTS: Conventional Wisdom hit the nail right on the head. I personally believe that Kristeta has “attention-deficit disorder” – a severe mental disorder more popularly known as “KSP” (Kulang Sa Palo). For an actress who knows how to put on a face or deliver a line, she made such a fuss with that snub on James during her birthday. Gusto talagang magpapansin sa buong Pilipinas…Saying in body language this line: “Hey, look at me I’m snubbing my husband – there must be something wrong with our marriage. Please write about us in the papers…” I’ve got a message for you sister: “Nobody gives a rat’s ass! We don’t care what happens to you, your pugilist-faced husband (parang laging nababalian ng ilong)  and your pointless marriage…So shut up!!!!”

JAMES YAP. Loser. One word : cad. As one writer succinctly said : “What do you expect from a provincial boy who suddenly became famous and wealthy?” The last time we witnessed a showbiz cad was during Gabby Concepcion’s time. James is now second in our list. Conventional Wisdom is giving them maximum of 3 years as a couple. Kris is starting to look more and more mature and matronic. James is still young. Give James sometime, and after Hope – – Faith and Charity will spring forth.

MY COMMENTS: To quote Jules Winfield: “…Correcto mundo…” Frankly, I would have described him using other synonymous words…Like…lout or bastard, boor, creep, heel, knave, louse, rascal, rat, rogue, scoundrel, sleazeball, slimebucket, worm….And my own personal favorite: maggot.

Moral of the story. Smoking is bad for marriage: Kris had Philip, James had Hope. Conventional Wisdom can’t take any more of this!!!

RUFFA GUTIERREZ/ANNABELLE RAMA: The mother and daughter (MAD) team strikes again. From a filmfest scam that made it to CNN, to Brunie-yuki scandal that merited a senate hearing, and now, the falling out with Ylmaz – – which is desperately being peddled out as Philippines vs. Turkey. Oppressor vs. Victim.

RUFFA GUTIERREZ. Loser. A desperate act from a has-been, middle-aged B-actress who is trying to make a come-back by capitalizing on whatever publicity that can be squeezed out from this split. From caterwauling one minute “Hindi ko na kaya Kuya Boy!”, to coyly saying the following week “Ligawan nya (Ylmaz) ulit ako” to having her born-again baptism rites captured on cam and then heading off to Las Vegas the following week to relax and do damage control (about his marriage five years ago in Las Vegas). Ruffa, you’re act is getting stale. You have become so predictable and boring.

MY COMMENTS: Conventional Wisdom is being too kind. I can still remember this so-called actress’ role in the Filmfest Scam…with her brother and Miss Mauritius Viveca Babajee shouting those classic lines: “Ruffa Gutierrez…Take it…Take it…” She should have been indicted and crucified for that scheme. Imagine being so desperate as to steal an award. I still feel that Lolit Solis was the fall guy and that Ruffa should have been put in the slammer. Pasalamat na lang siya dahil mas mukhang preso si Lolit. And now with this latest brouhaha…She is pandering to the (ignorant) masses by saying: “Ako po ang paniwalaan niyo…Ako po ang Pilipino…” Leche! I don’t give a damn even if you are the descendant of Lapu-lapu. I will not defend you just because you are Filipino with only your worthless word as evidence – like what the anti-establishment Gabriela did. In fact, don’t even mention that…Nakakahiya…Just read the posts at the Philippine Entertainment Portal, mas natutuwa pa ang mga tao na gulpihin ka…You’re damaged goods lady! Talk about karma…

ANNABELLE RAMA. Winner. For always a character that she is. For being consistent in her act and for being our constant source of amusement. Conventional Wisdom almost fell off its chair when this motor-mouth fish-wife asked Dolly Ann to return the cosmetics she gave her and then, proceeded on by actually naming two unknown women on national television to pay their debts to her since she now has to take care of Ruffa and her grandchildren: “Hoy, so and so magbayad na kayo ng utang nyo sa akin dahil marami na akong papalamunin ngayon” or something to that effect.

Panalo talaga si Bisaya. I strongly suggest to PGMA that we give this woman a postion in the government preferably as Head of our National Defense. ASAP.

MY COMMENTS: What do you expect from a palengkera, mahadera, or mata-pobre? How would try to reason with someone who admitted on public TV that her sole purpose in life is “maanakan ni Eduardo”? Who acts like a “floor manager” rather than a “talent manager” to her kids?

DOLLY ANN CARVAJAL. Winner and Loser. A lot of people don’t like this woman. For one, she is not pleasing to the eye. Her gay son looks a lot better than she. And admit it or not, she became a writer thru her connections – mom and aunt. But being objective about the whole thing, Conventional Wisdom thinks that Dolly Ann is on the right this time. Why can’t the mother and daughter (MAD) tandem just answer the questions posed by Dolly Ann? Why can’t Annabelle stick to the issues instead of pointing out something we already know: how ugly Dolly Ann is.

What makes Dolly Ann a loser is her constant use of her departed mom’s legacy and memory whenever someone would diss her out. Honey, stop hiding under the skirt of your mom. You are not a sacred cow.

MY COMMENTS: I agree. Enough said.

PIA GUANIO. Loser. What a lousy lousy interviewer. The depth of her talent as a host is as long as her irritating mini skirts. Do us a favor Pia, ask Bossing to marry you already and then fade into oblivion.

MY COMMENTS: Ibalik niyo na lang yang babaeng yan sa dati niyang role: “Traffic Angel Pia”!!!

GRETCHEN BARETTO. Loser. One word : Wow. The affectations of La Greta can only be matched by her delusions of grandeur. From the looks of it, she is experiencing the early on-set of a mid-life crisis. She has been picking fights left and right with Lani Mercado, and then with Dawn Zulueta. From her classic statement about the looks of her own daughter: “Naaawa nga ako dahil karamihan ng tao ang sabi kay Dominique, kamukha sya ng tatay nya?” And now the “friendly beso-beso” lip-lock with John Estrada. Please explain to Conventional Wisdom – – “How can this be a friendly kiss when you and John looked so orgasmic in that shot?”

Gretchen is a classic example of “langaw na nakatungtong sa kalabaw, pero feeling mataas pa sa kalabaw.” Someone should already tell this woman to seek professional help. Sober up and clean your act sister. You are no Paris Hilton. More like Plaster of Paris Hilton.

MY COMMENTS: Sana hambalusin si Gretchen ng tatlong PLDT directory ni Tony Boy para hindi humaba ang nguso…

CESAR MONTANO, RICHARD GOMEZ, MANNY PACQUIAO etc.  Losers. No further explanations needed.

BORGY MANOTOC. Loser. Please. Please. From one scandal to the next. From one basag-ulo to the next. We have enough of you and your sap-sap mouth face. Will someone already put this psycho behind bars?

MY COMMENTS: Sarap sapakin talaga ng mayabang na ito…

BUTCH FRANCISCO & DOLLY ANN AS WRITERS. Losers. Please don’t waste precious newspaper space writing about personal stories that nobody (repeat, nobody!) finds interesting at all. From your maid’s antics to your experience as a judge of Slimmers World Mr. and Ms. Ek-ek, to a current love who inspires you. Please! A tree gave up its life to have these newspaper printed. Have I mentioned that nobody is interested?

BELO’S BILLBOARDS. Loser. Hideous. Plain hideous. Whoever is advising Vicky (I can’t call her Doctora Vicky because as Osang said, she was a mere aerobics instructor before) to put out all those monstrosities should be charged with Human Rights violations. From the disturbing Chrismas billboard last December, to Richard Gomez’s billboard pre-campaign period, to Ai-ai’s scary shot. Conventional Wisdom would rather stare at the billboards of Ellen’s Beauty Salon (with Ellen as the model herself) than see these Belo ads.

NORA AUNOR. Loser. To be a has-been superstar drug dependent in your fifties is bad enough. To be caught doing drugs in another country is worse. To be found-out to have married another woman many years ago for a US green-card is worst. Ate Guy is a classic example of a person blessed with so much talent and opportunity gone to waste.

REGINE VELASQUEZ & OGIE ALCASID. Losers. Regine is what….nearing 40? As someone said “from her demeanor to her utterance, Regine is trying very, very, very hard to hold on to youth.” And if I may add, failing miserably. This home-wrecker who speaks with an American sleng-sleng should act her age. Seeing her kilig-reaction about the admission of Ogie made me lose my appetite for dinner. Conventional Wisdom is really worried that anytime soon, Regine’s face and body will collapse. From her hair extension, her fake long eyelashes, her fake nose, her man-made eye slits, her tooth-caps with gums, and her Gluthathioned skin, her fake boobs. Last we heard, her movie with Piolo flopped big time. Nobody wants to see a May/December love story anymore. Or more correctly, a May 1960/ December 2007 love affair story anymore.

These are the people that are giving Conventional Wisdom constant migraine the past months. If this trend continues until December, aneurysm can’t be far behind.

Pass this on until it reaches the following: Ylmaz Bektas, Mother-in-law of Gretchen, Hope, Vic Sotto, PGMA, Michelle Van Something, Letty Magsanoc, and Gov. Vi.

Posted in Peeve, Rave | 5 Comments »